Anger Management

Anger and Assertiveness Counselling

Counselling for Anger and Assertiveness

Anger can be a destructive emotion but also a very empowering one. In times of distress, it can be the driving force that keeps us going with its energy. It’s a very natural part of our built-in ‘fight or flight’ protection mode and I do not believe we should work towards ‘getting rid of it’. I believe we need anger to protect ourselves from both emotional and physical pain. I respect that a person has the right to get angry at times. In particular, when they feel their basic human rights are being violated or their values are being challenged.

Issues around anger generally arise from how we express it towards others, alternatively, we may internalise it. The impact of both behaviours can affect relationships. 

It is suggested that there are two types of anger pattern, both of which, have positive and negative attributes. Very rarely does this emotion come alone. Usually, it is attached to numerous other emotions, however, these can take some time to identify and understand. I appreciate that getting angry can happen very quickly, in contrast, it can sometimes feel like you ‘lose it’ at very small things.

Encouraging Assertiveness

Working with anger means helping you to slow the whole process down. Understanding your pattern, and perhaps why it might have developed in that way. Identifying and realising the other emotions that are attached to it, hence learning your triggers. 

With this knowledge, you have the opportunity to decide what you want to do with those emotions. Your choice is whether to express them or not. In particular, when they involve another party. You have the chance to consider how you might like to do that assertively, but safely.

If your anger relates to an unchangeable situation, you can choose to start your journey towards acceptance. Understanding the feelings behind it is the first step.

The goal is for you to feel that you are managing your anger rather than it managing you.

Counselling is a safe place for you to work towards assertiveness and expression of your anger in a way you are more comfortable with. The aim is for a less destructive approach. 

This is not an Anger Management Course, nor is it directive. It is an opportunity for you to find your own way.

Most people will feel angry at certain times in their lives. This is not the same as someone who uses it to coerce others into doing what they want. When anger is used to exert power and control over another this is considered abuse has more information. More about Domestic Abuse here.

Relax in quiet, discreet surroundings, Reflect on your issues in a calm
confidential environment, Rethink your situation and move forward in
a way that is right for you.

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